Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Sick Sick Sick

We've been sick, sick, sick. First it was my oldest. Body aches, headache, chest flu, congested nose, hot/cold...pretty much all the symptoms. Then she got her stomach migraines on top of it. Then it was me. Then it was my middle. Then it was my little girl. Now...the baby and Dad. Dad had his flu shot, so it didn't seem to help too much this year.


It's so hard to watch my poor little baby be sick. He seems miserable. Yet, you can see, in between coughing and crying, he still has a drive to play. I love him so much. He's such a spunky guy. Just the kind of baby boy I always wanted. Now, I just want him to feel better. And me...too.

My oldest is mostly on the mend, so that's good. She was supposed to have a violin recital this Friday. But, with the shape of the rest of us, and how bad this virus is (we don't want to give it to anyone else), I don't think she'll get to.

It's a lesson I need to learn anyhow, and teach to my kids. We don't have to be driven by our activities. We can learn to play the violin, for the pleasure of playing it. In a strange way, I have some extra peace this week (or two). I haven't been out in a week and a half (except to the doctor). I've gotten a goal for blogging again and it's not about showing off or complaining or being the best...it's about recording my life for me and my family...and perhaps running into some like minded people in the meantime.

I hope to keep my focus and keep up with simplifying my life, and not driving so much. I want to get back into more Charlotte Mason techniques and nature study and art study at home...I've been missing that too. That might not sound like simplifying, but I mean, enjoying the moment...getting the house clean yes, doing some thing out and about...but keeping my focus on the moment.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Simplify, Simplify, Simplify

Simplify. This is what I always tell myself, but I have a hard time doing. Simplify means purging the house of unnecessaries that I don't need to clutter my brain or my cupboards. Simplify means choosing the very most favorite activities. Yet, it is always good to finish out this year's activities. I'm leaning toward doing without dance next year as it really is the most expensive and if I had to choose with my girls art, violin, and dance, I'd really have to say dance was the least important.

To simplify, I've got to get past these doctor's appointments. Even my little boy needs a little surgery (of which type shall remain nameless). I'm tracking headaches, nausea, and vomitting and the medication given for my older girl. And for my younger girl, her (sorry) potty types and frequencies and quality of the types. All need said. She has a kidney issue that could be an issue with her remaining kidney, if I don't take her what I now consider minor voiding dysfunction seriously. So, it's a lot of tracking. And I myself have some doctor appointments to get off to. Oh, I just want to get past it. Perhaps, some way I can consolidate.

My little pumpkin now fits comfortably in my Ergo carrier. So, I'm pleased with that. As the weather gets nicer, he'll live in it and that will give me more flexibility. I also want to get it together with school. Simplify our cupboards. Lay out easy plans. Stick to schedules.

Our schedules are really messed up right now. I get insomnia and we're just naturally late night people, but I want to strive to change to a regular schedule. I guess one thing I can do for my daughter's stomach migraines (not to mention our homeschool) is the establish regular, waking, eating, and sleeping schedules...and to get daily exercise. I'm also thinking of getting Natalie into the chiropractor for the cyclical vomitting (stomach migraines) as some people have had some success that route. But, overall, the most important thing for cyclical vomitting is lowering stress be it from a cold (her last trigger) or from a performance. I can't just keep pushing my daughters and no have it all go haywire.

Wish me luck. I'm a few days out from being over the stupid virus and many more for my family to be over it. This is an area I need to stick to and it's the hardest thing in the world for me.

BY THE WAY...How do you like my new blog? For now. I like the layout a lot better.

God's Blessings-


Tuesday, January 18, 2011


I love my children. I'm so thankful God granted me the chance to have every single one. Once I didn't know if I would have children due to sever depression, anxiety, and a lack of vision in life. Yet, God in his mercy allowed my husband and I to get together in a second chance sort of way. The song "Broken Road" comes to mind.

When my oldest was born there was quite a scare. She had a bad cord incident and coming out had no breath and no pulse. My husband tells how the respiratory therapist hand pumped her for well over an hour until she perked up. At the time I was lying there hearing that my baby had no heart rate, as a huge team of people came in to rescue her little life. We did not know that she would make it. Here was this absolutely beautiful baby and I could not hold her, nor know how she was. I heard one of the medical personnel blurt out, "this boy has no heart rate". I asked then if she was a boy (since we were supposed to have a girl). My husband remembered later someone saying that and thought, "how rude?!" My good friend that was there, as I was sobbing and asking about my baby, told me, "no, she's a beautiful girl, she's going to be OK." And my friend got all her family praying for our little girl.

Hours past and they still had my daughter ventilated and wanted to move her to a NICU, since the hospital we were at did not have one. They said the hospital we needed to move her to didn't have a room for me. I protested, I had my husband and my friend protest. It came down to the doctor telling me they could release me and I could stay in a family room near the hospital, but that she didn't recommend it. In the end they transfered me. When the Pediatric ambulance arrived at our hospital they adjusted her ventilation and her oxygen numbers improved. Shortly after arriving at the NICU, they took her off ventilation and she improved again. That evening, I vividly remember the doctor coming in and telling me they just didn't know if she was out of the woods or if she'd have damage from being without oxygen for so long. In the end she was perfect. And she was my saving Grace...and that's her middle name...picked out ahead of time and everything. I think without her, I may have given up and given into depression and not had more children. I wanted children but depression and anxiety were such big problems in my life, it seemed unwise at the time to have children. She was an unexpected blessing in a tumultous time...a time when I certainly didn't do everything God's way, but He gave me Grace anyhow. His grace is always deep, isn't it?

Motherhood hasn't turned out just as I expected. One of the biggest, hardest things has been when health and development of my children hasn't happened in a way that I could control it. I've experienced that big time with my first two children. Right now, my oldest, seems perpetually sick. Really, it's not soooo much out of the expected. I mean she gets some allergies and has GERD. But the biggest thing is Cyclical Vomitting Syndrome, which the latest doctor has said she has outgrown and is now calling Migraines, because she has headaches with the vomitting every time now. It's hard to watch her suffer so. And often the headaches and vomitting will last up to a week and she'll lose weight and get thin. But, I think the worst, is her just feeling like time is stolen from her and not understanding why this is happening. I pray for her a lot. I really believe God wants me to have faith.