Summer

Summer goes by so quickly. I have little time I can sit to put my thoughts down. Even now, it is the middle of the night and that is why I have a moment to myself. It's hard to remember already what has happened with our summer.

In the beginning of June, my little boy (my baby still just barely) got a cold bug and ended up struggling to breathe. He'd had some wheezing and coughing before then, but this was up with him all night, worried about him kind of breathing. I'm always worried that I'm being too worried about my children. Another even worse cold he had had back in January, I was really worried about him, and I took him in and the doctor said he was just fine, that it was just a hard cold or RSV, that I'd just need to stay up with him. This time, however, (in June) I took him to the doctor and she wanted him transferred to the hospital. He got oral steroids and nebulizer treatments and a little oxygen and was out in 24 hours. This happened again less than a month later. This time I had taken him to the ER. They kept him for observation in the hospital for 24 hours. And, really, about once a month, since January he has gotten a cold and every one has been characterized by coughing and increased breathing difficulty. That second visit to the ER was right around the end of June.

Then on the 3rd of July, my third and littlest girl (3 years old), climbed on a ball and fell off and whacked her hand. She ended up having a broken arm, which we got treated on the 4th and casted about a week later.

With my step-daughter coming on the 5th, and also because of the increased pressure on our household from medical visits, we postponed our 4th of July celebration until a few days later.

Recently, my son got into see the Allergist and now he is on two Nebulizer treatments a day of nebulized steroids. This is to calm down his lungs so when he has a cold, it doesn't spiral quickly out of control. Also, now we have the actual treatment in nebulizer too for when he gets a cold. Allergies are unusual in a child so small, but all the same he will get allergy tested in August, after his system calms down.

Since mid-June, but especially since a little after the 5th, I've also been affected a lot by my asthma. It's frustrating because when I went to the doctor, I was better that day. Plus, any time I go to the doctor, I get revved up (adrenalin) and I go in an almost perfectly filtered environment and my asthma symptoms clear up. Plus, sometimes I think I'm having trouble breathing and am totally tight in my upper airways, but without hardly a wheeze. The doctor said he believed me and put me on Prednisone, but I think I'm actually doing worse since then. I don't think I'm doing worse because of the medication plan, but just because of the crazy grass pollen. We are going on vacation soon and I'm hoping the pollen counts are lower where we are going. So, the last week or two I've been avoiding too much outdoor exposure and have been needing to medicate myself a lot. I also seemed to have an allergic reaction to some food I ate that made things a little worse. I think I'm more sensitive when I've had so much exposure to grass this year. Our year has been one of constant rain with sun in between and the grass is just growing crazy.

I also took my older two girls to an Allergist. It turns out my oldest girl (10) has now developed an allergy to grass. She was already allergic to dust mites, but that's more of a winter thing. Her allergies aren't a big deal, just a little sneezing mostly right now. My middle daughter (7) is allergic to quite a few things. Dust mites, grass, weeds, late trees, wheat, and oranges. It's horrible for her when she goes out in the grass...sneezing, red nose, red eyes, blotchy skin. But, thankfully no asthma.

Last week my older two girls (but not my step-daughter, she was too old), got to participate in Vacation Bible School. They thoroughly enjoyed themselves and seemed to only have positive memories.

This week I've been doing errands getting ready for vacation and have also gotten together with some friends. One friend gave me some pointers on sewing while our kids played. Another I met at a park. It was so nice. I have a couple of other friends, I've been trying to get together with that hopefully I will be able to do so as the summer progresses.

An old friend from the Seattle area, had her daughter graduate from Highschool and she is getting married shortly. She is one of those girls that is mature beyond her years and I have confidence that she will do fine being married so young. Her mom and I were roommates and very good friends and I knew her little, but not as much since I moved to marry my husband. She isn't having a public wedding because her fiance is in the military and it was too much pressure because the military couldn't finalize his military leave with any predictability. I am sad but happy.

This summer has been typical in it's pattern, but eye opening when it comes to my step-daughter. She has been in Middle School one year now. Also, her Mom has given her internet access in her room, e-mail, and a cell phone with texting. Her Mom wanted her to use her cell phone a lot when she was with us. There is some difficulty having her settle in to being with us with her checking back in with her other house and with her other siblings regularly. On vacation we are going to have her leave her cell phone back. But, because she is more able bodied and more responsible than the past, I thought this summer would be more emotionally easy. Yet, it is really typical. When she is with us for a weekend or even a week, she is able to hide what she really thinks. Not so in the summer. So, it has been a constant comparison about how things are done differently between the two houses, and also how she is now used to doing such and such at school. Even the friends she has at school that she thinks are Christians (which she calls her best friends and says she tells all her secrets to), aren't necessarily all in when it comes to following Christ. Not that they have been horrible influences so far, but it seems some are dating (in 6th grade) and some are trying to get her to listen to more secular music. So, it's nothing horrible, but it's just draining.

The concept of authority is really being stretched. At 12 going on 13, she wants to be in charge of herself. There are a 100 other examples, but one is that I do the packing of the children's clothes for camping, and she says, "at my other house, we do our own packing." No big deal of a statement, but I probably here something like that 20 times a day. "At my other house, I walk to the store." "At my other house, I don't do any chores." "At my other house, my brother listens to me and says I'm in charge." "They only do this (unfair thing) at my other house." "They won't do that with me at my other house." "At my other house, I think they are going on a special trip."

Oh, to just live in the moment and have her appreciate what I do with her (like sewing, knitting, gardening, walking, etc.) and NOT to compare herself to her siblings here and want everything I do with her, plus everything I do with her siblings here, plus everything she "gets" to do over at her other house, plus not the responsibility we give her here. Oh, that she would get thankfulness, and God working on the story of her life, and using every circumstance for her benefit, as she serves Him.

Friendships

Friendships are always a big struggle for me. On one hand, I feel rejected a lot by others. On the other hand, I know I don't always do the necessary, socially expected things to make and keep friendships (calling, bringing things over to others, being the one to say hi when seeing someone I know in public, etc.). Anyhow, Kimmie @ Over The Moon With Joy has written about struggling with friendships as well. It got me thinking and here is what I wrote to Kimmie. This is where my heart is at in regards to friendships. I hope I make an effort to become a better friend to others in the future.

Friendships are hard. Especially for introverts and especially for creative types. I think sometimes too we have such false beliefs about our friendships (as women) - that this friend is to be this, this, and this for me. Maybe it is only God's plan for her to be this one thing for me. And maybe, being my personality, that I know doesn't tend to make friendships easily, maybe I need to not think more realistically and not think every friendship I have to get back exactly what I give. Maybe God has called me to give more than I recieve and be OK with that. And to realize that what I give won't always be appreciated, but I serve as unto the Lord, anyhow. Also, maybe I need to realize, God put this friend in my life, only to fill this small little area and as I yield to him he'll reveal other friends in my life to fill these other areas. Ultimately, I am so thankful to God to allow me to spend my life with my best friend, my husband, anyhow. And while my husband doesn't fill every need (and sometimes I freak out about that), he fills the really deep needs and God provides for other needs as I yield to him and allow myself to give to others freely. Well, just rambling about my own experience. I look forward to reading more about what your are learning in this area. My prayers are with you.

In Real Life

Carol of Three Little Ladies, is in the process of moving from Colorado to Alaska. Due to weather, she and her family had to change their route at the last minute and happened to be headed by my neck of the woods (SW Washington). So we got to meet up. It was wonderful to get to meet her In Real Life as she says. Her children were sweet and gracious, as is she and her husband. I especially enjoyed her littlest one's enthusiastic disposition. We got a chance to take a couple of quick shots. Here they are.

Just Who I Am

It's funny how sometimes we try and be something or someone other than who we actually are, who our creator created us to be. I say "WE" because I'm assuming others do the same thing I do. Particularly we try to be that popular person or that social person. We worry that others don't like us. Perhaps it's a childhood thing...and perhaps it's just me...but I'm pretty sure others have walked this same path.

The really ironic thing is that others at the same time as we are trying to be liked by them, have their own situations going on underneath the surface. Maybe they are friendly to us, but a solid connection never comes from it. Perhaps they seem judgemental. But, are they really? I listened to a conversation lately, about a shy (but oh so sweet) young lady. Her mom said she had had some trouble with kids at school picking on her, particularly on the bus. This young lady would never outright tell her mom about it because she is such a people pleaser. But, the teasing and hostility built up and mom found out about it. The other partner in this conversation said that perhaps being shy and reserved was something intimidating to the other young ladies. What? Being someone who is usually reserved with all but those closest to me, I am unclear as to how being reserved would be intimidating? My view of being reserved is that it is a weakness. But, perhaps it really is neutral and that other people have their own weaknesses in how they view and accept others.

The best feedback I've ever gotten either on my photography blog or on my homeschooling blog, has been when I am writing just for me. On my photography blog, for instance, sometimes I write tutorials, mainly just so that I can go back to them myself - because I'll forget a certain technique even when I had previously mastered it.

In the homeschooling world, I like to ponder different methods of learning. If you're a long term reader of my blog, you probably know that I have a fondness for Charlotte Mason Methods, but also like the self-teaching philosophy of Robinson, and the serious nature of the Classical Method (although I'm not too fond of repitition - which in some forms of the Classical Method is a really strong component). Basically, my favorite teaching method is an old-fashioned, nurturing, self-learning style.

I think I'm getting more into my groove there. This is not to say that you need to follow my groove. In fact, unless you are an awfully lot like me, the things I do will probably drive you crazy.

When I started homeschooling and indeed before that when my oldest daughter was in Preschool, I was really itching to get started and wanted to get a good head start teaching. Now, under some influence of Robinson and Miss. Mason, as well as the influence of a child who definitely wasn't ready for formal learning at the age of five, I really see age seven or eight as the start of education. Before that intelligent conversation, phonics practice, reading practice, reading aloud, and some light math practice are on the menu. I just think, to do more than say two hours a day with my first grader, is unhelpful to her learning.

Natalie (8) this year, though, is starting to teach herself math with Saxon 5/4. And it works out wonderfully. It really does. Not to say every day she wants to do 1-2 hours of math, but she does it, and she talks about her math and figures things out (like casually saying to me one morning "mom is 3/4's of 60, 45?") because she's thinking it through herself. She reads and does written narration. We also do read alouds as a family and oral narration. She takes her spelling from her own written narration - so it's not somthing foreign to her.

I also read recently about adding vocabulary memorization to her reading. Robinson does this (I don't currently own the Robinson curriculum, but I've read about it) - he has pretty challenging vocabulary from the texts they are reading and the kids are expected to memorize it. Do you know that what kids learned in order to graduate the eighth grade in the 1800's was as much as some learn through college now? Our kids can do more than we give them credit for.

And I want her to memorize poetry. But, the more I learn about self-teaching, the more I just want her to do it herself. So, I give her a fairly long poem at the beginning of the week and part of her reading time, she'll master that poem herself and present it to me at the end of the week. Having a more hands-off approach frees me up to clean my house, make bread, play with my toddler, go over phonics and reading with my six year old, and squeeze some time in for working at our business.

And, of course, being a Charlotte Mason fan, I want all my girls to do nature study. Having the girls do more self-learning frees up time for this - otherwise, it seems to me, with the duties of the house, there is just not enough time to fit that kind of thing in.

Well, these are just my new thoughts. The real changes for me are going to self-learning for poetry and adding vocabulary to the reading assignment. I also read recently that Robinson has the kids re-write their essay (written narration) the next day with corrections made. I'm debating about doing this as well.