Finishing Things Up

We're finishing things up before the baby comes. On Sunday we had a birthday celebration for our middle girl. Her birthday is on the 19th. And on that day I will probably just be coming home from the hospital. So, the lucky girl got her birthday early.

The van got a thorough shampooing yesterday by my husband. And, I spent a bunch of time this morning cleaning my husband's work bench in the garage (of all things). Do you think cleaning your husband's area counts as nesting?

My middle girl and I had a doctor's appointment today. I have to say, I was hoping to like the whole experience more. But, alas, I did not. We got some great news, however. That news was that Rachey's renal scan came back showing there was no obstruction in the kidney. Also, the pediatric urologist thought that the grade one reflux, was only a small concern and was caused by learned potty behavior.

I was greeted by a resident and a medical student and grilled extensively. As the resident was leaving, she said that my middle girl showed no signs of kidney obstruction, but that they might want to do a urological function test (or some such thing). Then, the pediatric urologist came in and pretty much told me that this was all a learned potty behavior and that they needed me to do timed voids (which I pretty much was already doing) and I needed to put her back on Miralax. Miralax was a nightmare for us before. Anyhow, after my questioning of him about this (and after me having tears) his response was that 'I obviously had a lot on my mind and I could consider doing the Miralax after a while, when things calmed down in my life' (i.e. when I was no longer pregnant). I guess, he may be right about the whole of what to do, however. They have a slightly more refined protocol than the regular pediatrician and urologist did for treating her bowel and bladder issues. But, before when I was doing this, we had many, many accidents. But, there is more to the protocol, such as timed voids and feeling her stomach to make sure she relaxes when she goes. I so hope this fixes my daughter's issues altogether, kidney and potty training alike and that I don't go through what I went through before with my middle girl on Miralax.

A Day Out

The girls and I went out today. My two older girls went to art class. My toddler stayed with me. The girls take an art class through our local school district's home education program during the school year. And, the art school offers summer extension classes, a month at a time during the summer. My girls love their art class so we signed up through today.

My little girl and I went and did some shopping while the girls were in class. I bought my middle girl her birthday present, returned some library books, and stocked up on gluten free food for my middle daughter (I won't want to go out for that soon). Then, I picked up the older girls and we went to the grocery. I was hot and exhausted when we got home. I'm trying to prepare like crazy, because I have a week and a half before my C-Section.

When we got home, I asked my older daughter to bring in some groceries. My middle daughter ran to the back of the van and started digging (trying to figure out what bag of groceries she wanted to bring in I suppose). She found her gift. Oh, well, what do you do?

Here is a picture I will share with you of me, now, at 37 1/2 weeks pregnant, in the final countdown days. I can't wait for our little boy to arrive. Boy, will it be strange. :)

Goings On

Pregnancy

I have less than two weeks to go. I have a planned C-Section scheduled for the 15th of August. This part of my pregnancy has actually been easier for me, although my belly is certainly getting quite uncomfortable. Yet, pain from varicose veins doesn't plague me anymore, nor nausea, and my emotional life has been settling out. So, here I am at home, nesting, getting ready for baby...as ready as I'll ever be. This baby is my fourth (husband's fifth) and is our first boy. We're pretty excited (not that we wouldn't be if he was supposed to be a she). It's been fun decorating his room in BOY Stuff. OMG!

My One Kidney Girl

The other big thing that has been going on is testing for my one kidney girl. My middle daughter had an almost completely blocked kidney from the get go (18 week ultrasound). It was like an over inflated balloon and they removed it when she was 10-11 months old. Here, recently, she had a couple of kidney infections in her remaining kidney. Oh, no! So, we had issues with anti-biotics, getting an appointment soon enough with her Urologist, getting an out of network referral to a Pediatric Urologist (there are only two in our city), following up with her primary Urologist on anti-biotic issues, getting a Nuclear Renal Scan and a VCUG (the Kidney Reflux test) done, and soon to go and meet with the Pediatric Urologist (on the 10th of August - 5 days before baby is to arrive).

At the same time, I was questioning my Mom about whether she had any more Kidney infections (she had one once when I was on a trip with her), and come to find out she's had lots of them and that she had once seen a Urologist for them and he wanted her to take preventative anti-biotics, but she got an infection anyhow, and because she felt it was bad advice and a pain to get into him, she never went back to the Urologist, but rather to her general practioner. So, my Mom and I (my Mom is almost 70) are e-mailing back and forth about the necessity of getting the proper tests and her being followed by an actual specialist. I'm not sure I'm convincing her. It's hard, my Mom is very passive and I don't think she likes to have to be assertive with medical caregivers. I think that's why she's comfortable with doing whatever her general practioner says and no more. Ugggh. Well, we'll see. She can make her own choices, I know.

Summer

That's most of what's going on right now. Learning activities are taking a backseat this summer, although we've done a few here and there and the girls have still been participating in the Art and Ballet over the summer. It's been a cool summer. Our garden hasn't done well. I suppose that's OK. That's kind of what happens anyhow on the years when I'm pregnant. I have been enjoying all the light and warm (but not too hot) weather. It's been enjoyable.

How things are going

I haven't seemed to post much lately. I haven't felt as creative in the sharing department I think. The pregnancy is going well. I don't have my official, detailed ultrasound for three more weeks. They couldn't schedule it any other time. In some ways I feel better than other pregnancies. But, I still feel nauseas a good part of the day, and dizzy some and sometimes quite achey. I think the achiness is often related to not getting enough sleep or taking my multi-vitamin. I tried a children's chewable and felt the same. If I get exercise it seems to help. The good thing this pregnancy is I've consistently exercised so far. So that's good and after I exercise I feel better.

I'm frustrated with my OB...not that I think there is anything really wrong with me, but you know I don't think he's a very good listener and doesn't take my personal knowledge to be worth anything. Well, I'm frustrated with at least half the doctors I ever go to, and for a while I worked as a coordinator in a medical residency training program. I just don't hold medical knowlege, especially in today's world, as being something they hold an exclusivity on. They see patterns more than a lay person. But, I think a good doctor (or at least one that I like) will see a lay person's knowledge as valuable.

Here's a picture of my little one after we were given some flowers by a gardener whose yard we were walking past, admiring. I have more photos on my photo blog that I haven't posted here, but a lot of boring Photoshop stuff too.

Early Ultrasound

I got to go for an early ultrasound today. I am officially 13 weeks, 4 days now, and the ultrasound showed 14 weeks, 1 day. Very close. They can't tell me anything definitive with this ultrasound. However, the baby has two arms, two legs, a head, two kidneys, two feet, and two hands that like to go in the mouth. I'm thrilled. I must say I haven't felt very excited for the last six to eight weeks...I've just felt so sick and nervous. Here are some pictures.

Profile...hands in mouth

Profile...arms and legs down

This is the baby's bottom and feet. You be the judge if there is anything else there. They cannot tell us for sure at this gestation. But, obviously with three (and sometimes four) girls, we're thrilled at any possible hints of masculinity. I'll let you know in about four more weeks.

Today

I started this blog to record the adventures of our homeschooling family and my reasons for homeschooling. It seems lately I have not been writing much about homeschooling. Yet, I am everyday impressed with homeschooling. I am impressed that even when I am doing the bare minimum, just by exposing my kids to a love of learning and by limiting their electronic access, they just keep on learning, even seemingly without me. Rachey has been writing notes and deciphering "chapter books". Natalie asks me to read and narrate - she misses it. And, they do ballet and art and violin. It's not something I have to pressure them to do. Don't get me wrong...there have been times. When violin was new and hard and Natalie was younger, she had to be pushed to do it some days. Rachey wants to play an instrument. I told her maybe next year (after the baby comes).

And they do math...but that isn't a voluntary activity...although for me that is largely a "child independent" activity, as I mainly follow the Robinson approach to Math...let them struggle with it and teach themselves...following mainly Saxon. I put Natalie (3rd) in Saxon 5/4 this year and she actually did better. Saxon 5/4 is the original Saxon - and unlike the younger grades and is much more to the point.

I got out my maternity clothes today. I had one of those crisis moments where even some of my sweats were uncomfortable and the looser of my pants were in the wash. I think most of my maternity clothes look pretty good on me, but no doubt about it, as I start wearing them, everyone will know I'm pregnant.

My husband is outside right now with the kids. I'm sitting here thinking about going to the shoe store - which is like terribly hard if I try to do that with my kids. I have particular feet and I really need a non-tennis or garden shoe that takes an insert. I don't really feel sick per se right now, but I feel achey and tired, so I'm not sure I want to go, but I"m sure I would be glad I did. Some shoes to got with my "new clothes" would be nice.

Pregnancy

This is my fourth pregnancy, and I'm still wondering?? How do you get yourself so your full (not completely starving) before going to bed? You know so you can go to sleep and not wake up two hours later?

I've been doing on/off good/bad. I think a lot depends on how well I sleep. We lost our little calf we pulled. The Momma cow, she sounds so sad. I was thinking a lot about that last night. And, today, naturally, I didn't feel good. The frustrating thing is I couldn't take a nap.

My Week

It was a good week I think. I decided to "try" going Gluten Free this week. So far I'm still doing it. I'm doing it because this pregnancy most wheat products have made me feel badly.

My middle daughter is a Gluten Free girl. Even though she didn't test out for Celiac - it obviously makes a huge difference for her going gluten free in so many ways - including behavioral. But the clearest sign is that whenever we go back to wheat (more than just a tiny amount) she has tummy aches big time.

My oldest daughter had a horrible time with CVS (Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome) last year (and a few years before that). CVS is basically migraines in kids. One of her episodes she didn't eat or drink for a week and we had to get her hydrated at the ER. We had to get her hydrated more than once. Actually that time we went to the ER at about day four. So, we got some expensive medicine for the nausea. And we used it a few times. But, the really cool thing is for like the last nine months, she hasn't had a problem. She has gotten headaches - and one thing you can do for migraines is to catch them early and treat them with Advil. So doing that might have made a big difference. But, the big thing we did is cut out food additives as an entire family (for the most part - we still go out to eat). Anyhow, that's a huge praise report, and just to show you that real health issues come from sensitivities.

Interestingly enough, the girs' cousin just got a positive test back on Celiac - so it looks like that does run in the family (on my husband's side).

I've just had general health issues and largely anxiety and depression issues and allergies (asthma, hives, etc.). I don't know what I'll do with this experiment. If you have followed my blog much over the last year or two, you know I love making homemade whole grain bread. I would so hate to give that up. But, for now, during my pregnancy and especially while I feel sick, I'm avoiding wheat and wheat like products.

So, I was feeling better. I mean I still had morning sickness, but it wasn't so overwhelming and I had good hours this week. The girls had a lot of fun with their activities this week and we made it to every one. Outside of Natalie doing her math, we still haven't been back to school, but I figure I can make up for that during the summer. And certainly, their activities and Nat's violin practice are an education of a type all on their own. And, the girls love to read on their own. So, they aren't getting rusty.

We got the original Star Wars (4,5, and 6) and Jon told the girls if they cleaned the house, we would watch the first one. Oh, my gosh were they motivated. I've never seen them move so fast. And, even if I was at my tip top, I coudn't have cleaned it myself that fast.

My Abigail is just a cutie. She keeps us all wrapped around her finger. It was funny at violin this week, the teacher asked her to pick up a pencil. She stood back and acted shy. Soon, though, she started telling my eight year old to pick it up. And kept asking her over and over. And eventually, Natalie did pick it up. That little Abigal turkey. I ask her to pick up a toy and she says, "Dachel pick it up." Dachel is Rachel, my six year old. But, Abigail's very helpful too. You should see how she folds wash rags. And, I'm kind of particular that my wash rags are folded in the same direction so they make a neat stack. And she (Abigail - 2 1/2) does it that way! Oh, she's too cute for words.

Here are some pictures I took earlier this week when I braided Abigail's hair. Natalie got in on the action.

My Husband

Have I told you that my husband has been making dinner about three days out of four during this difficult part of my first trimester? Do you know that shortly after we were married, my husband told me he just didn't see how he could be one of those husbands that helps their wife in the kitchen. It was just not something that any of the men in his family did. But, he has learned to make Tacos, Hamburgers (from lean, pasture fed beef mind you), Oven-Fried Chicken, Steak/Potatoes/and a Vegetable. He also cuts up a mean salad. And makes great German Pancakes for breakfast - even making a gluten free version for our gluten free girl.

Jon isn't the most naturally sympathetic person. He doesn't just notice when I need help. But, as hard as everything has been during this first trimester...he pulls through. This morning I knew I needed extra sleep (ten or eleven rather than nine) to feel good today. It's been how it's been. I asked him to stay home a little and work from home and just let the girls play in their rooms. He said, "no way. It's a busy day." In the past, I would have gotten myself worked up about his lack of sympathy. But, we are both learning. I told him I wouldn't be able to get things done today because I wouldn't be feeling good not having enough sleep. And, I tried to go back to sleep. And, you know what, he stayed home and worked remotely. I didn't even know it. I just thought my children were being unusually quiet. I got up at eleven and then he went into work.

My honey is a gem isn't he? I love him anyhow, whether he were to do that or not. But, when he does things like that I feel loved by him.

Pregnancy Struggles

I had a day the other day where I felt good (almost normal) for about five or six hours. Then, the day after it, I didn't feel like I could move from the couch all day. I think a lot of it is related to how much sleep I got. And every time I tried to take a nap that day, I was awoken by a phone or  fighting children...or after my dear husband took the children...this stop watch thing went off.

This pregnancy, according to my memory is up there with the morning sickness of my first pregnancy. But, so far I do get over "morning" sickness by thirteen weeks every time. So, I'm looking forward to that date. As far as what doctor's recommend...pretty much they tell me this is the first trimester and that's how you feel, have you tried eating saltines? Last time when I was getting real desperate they offered me some anti-nausea medicine, but that made me so out of it, it really wouldn't be worth it unless I literally could sleep all day. Plus, no need to add extra medicine. A couple weeks after that point last time, I was feeling better. I just hope the baby is OK. I love getting that 18 week ultrasound and finding out everything looks basically OK.

Enough of that. We have not been doing hardly any school. That's OK. Learning is lifelong and we can do school in the summer. We have been doing the activities we're signed up for, but I've been skipping about one a week. I'm really signed up for about one too many things, but I just don't want to get rid of one of them right now. We are doing Violin (Natalie only), Art (Natalie only), Swimming (both older girls), and Dance (both older girls).

The dance is during a hard time of day for "morning sickness" and four and five and that's when my evening edition of morning sickness tends to pop back up. But, it's real close to home and to work. I wish I could talk my husband into dropping off and picking up the girls for this...but he's not too fond of hanging out with a bunch of girls and women. So...we'll see.

Natalie is just LOVING being back in violin. I don't think I realized how important it was to her.

Swimming...well my girls are six and eight and still don't swim. They need to learn. I could pay for it myself in summer, but then you go every day and that's a big committment and they've never had much success from Summer lessons. I just need to stick out this first trimester a couple of weeks.

Art. Natalie loves it. I guess I wouldn't have started it if I had had the presence of mind for how quickly I would become pregnant and for how much morning sickness I would have. But, I just can't take it away from her now having just been in it since mid-November. It's close to violin and last week I got her Dad to pick her up from art. I put a couple hours in at work in exchange though...

I've been trying to take picture here and there. I have one here to show you. Today it is pouring down rain and dark, so I'm not sure I'll get any taken today. It's a real outlet for me to take pictures. I can get lost in it.

 

Tredding Water

I just feel the need to write...not that I have much new to say. I'm almost to nine weeks in my pregnancy. I'm feeling really tired, sick, and achey despite getting lots of sleep last night and today.

It's funny what I like to eat this pregnancy. I mean it's different than other pregnancies. I want strawberries and steak and water. And, I don't like bread or milk (homemade whole wheat or white). That's annoying. Hopefully, that will settle out after the first trimester. I've been doing oranges in the middle of the night. But, I'm getting quite tired of that. And, basically I'm hungry a lot. Then, it seems the only thing to curb that is some meat. But, I'm not so fond of the smell of meat. Being pregnant is crazy. Oh, and of course I like salads. I always like those.

We had another calf since I wrote on Homeschool Blogger last. This is number three for the season. Unfortuneately, we aren't sure if it will make it. It's a bad combination.

We got some new cows and this cow is CRAZY - so with a problem calf, she's hard to work with. Her calf was being born with one leg out and one leg in, which caused it to be stuck. She was crazy during labor and my husband was kind of scared to get in there and work with her - she actually tried to run at him a time or two. We determined that she had that problem going on of one leg stuck inside and that if we didn't do something the calf would not be born alive (it had already been a bit long). My husband paneled the cow and pushed the head back in, grabbed the leg and pulled it out. Then, he wanted me to help pull. I asked if he was sure it was safe and he said she (the Momma) couldn't do anything right then. I helped pull it out. It's funny I felt perfectly unsick for about an hour (all the adrenaline). We were excited to have saved the calf. But, the calf was REALLY weak and couldn't stand  and our local farm store was closed till morning and we couldn't get the colostrum till about 12 hours (pretty long for a calf). It's still been weak. We've electrolyted it and my husband has actually milked the CRAZY cow by headgating her (her head in stuck in a contraption). Then he tubed the calf the milk. The cow doesn't seem to have a lot of maternal instinct. And, now we just wonder if the calf does get stronger if it will know to go to Momma.

If the calf doesn't live, we are thinking we won't keep this cow as she doesn't seem tamable. And even if the calf does live - we won't keep her longer than weaning. The continuing saga of raising cows. These cows we just bought were supposed to be "EASY CALVING" cows.

Not too much else to say. We actually did a half day of school today. I am so achy and tired and sick feeling right now and just want to be unconcious. It's all about the baby. There really is a baby in there and I'm going to feel good again.

Our Life Right Now

Did I scare you away from my blog yet with all my emotions?

It's been a challenging couple of weeks between first trimester stuff and all the regular and non-regular life that goes on. I've been challenged with anxiety again since getting pregnant, although not as bad as in the past. I'm having trouble keeping up with the house. Smells are a big deal and the sick to my stomach feeling that goes along with them, as well as a general achiness. I remember this passes after first trimester - although the tiredness and achiness has sometimes resumed for me at the end of my pregnancy. I think that has had to do with iron - even though I wasn't officially anemic, but was right on the line. I wonder if I am that way now? Do you know how much extra blood your body produces in a really short period of time? Yet, I'm hesitant to take much extra iron (any in addition to my prenatal) because of the side effects that are so strong first trimester. I've read that the liquid irons are better, but I can't stomach them (even when I'm not pregnant).

I really am excited to have another baby. It doesn't seem real yet. Plus, I just keep wanting to see that ultrasound and hear it's mostly free and clear. We had one that had a startling result at the ultra-sound. She had one non-working kidney and they said she might be downs, but she was not. We took out her kidney at one year and her other one is fine and does the work of two. She is my really rambunctious child - we (her kidney doctor and her Dad and I) joked before she was born that she would be that way - after all she "COULDN'T" lose her kidney - because she only had one good one.

Recently...last December...I added things to our schedule. We were already taking dance. And, we added art (for Natalie) and swimming (for both the bigger girls). Natalie is an ARTEEST and it is one of her greatest joys and I'm glad for her to be taking art. Both girls NEED to learn to swim.

Now, I have added Orchestra for Natalie. I know I'm crazy. But, just a few more weeks and I'll be feeling better.

Natalie took violin lessons for two and half years (really three years, but there were some breaks for me having a baby and for Natalie having a pendacitis). She was without lessons since last July. But a few months ago she broke a string. For some reason, for the longest time I put off fixing it - I thought the violin store would have the fix her string and that it would be a hefty price tage (they charge like $150 to restring and recalibrate violins). But, actually, when I called they said, a broken string they could just replace, no charge (except for the string). So, I told Nat this and she started to remind me daily to replace her string. After about the eighth time, I snapped at her. She started crying. And, I asked her if playing the violin was something very important to her. She cried more. To give you an idea...I got the string replaced one day...she practiced for about an hour that day (no pressure from me). The next day was the day before this Orchestra evaluation and she practiced for about an hour and a half that day (again no request from me). That morning of the Orchestra evaluation, she practice for about an hour. She was put into level two Orchestra at the evalution and asked to come to Orchestra the next day if she liked. We went today. The class was an hour long. She was all grins afterwards. When we got home after a long and exhausting day (she had art class today too), she wanted to practice some more. She practiced for about fourty-five minutes. I'd say the violin is something that is important to her and not just something I'm directing her in. So, for that reason, even in the middle of all of this, I felt like I needed to add that to our schedule. Next year, I'm going to have to do some serious evaluating. I'm guessing four outings a week may be a bit much for our family. But, for now, that's what we're doing.

An Update

Not too much to report on. I've been feeling fully first trimester pregnant...where the nausea doesn't really ever seem to go away. I'm just over seven weeks. The worst is supposed to be nine weeks and then it gets easier from there.

I'm sure my improved nutrition and supplements have helped comparitively with the this pregnancy, but I've found reality hitting me hard. I had several days unable to sleep (in a really significant way) and I decided to take some medication I have in the past (including past pregnancies) for anxiety/depression, a very small dose...not the best thing to do, but when you have to, you really have to, and it is relatively safe.

I find the general public's perception about mental illness, and the church's in particular, to be somewhat frustrating. I agree that the overdosage of anti-depressants by doctors to a large number of people is unhelpful. Doctors are by in large treating the symptom, not the cause. But, I am hear to tell you that the most devout, committed person can suffer from depression that is not in their own control. It's like when the disciples asked Jesus why the man suffered, because of his own sin or that of his parents. Jesus answered, "neither, but that the Son of Man would be glorified." I don't always understand why I don't experience that full healing, but I think the point of Jesus is that some things just are. They are a part of our fallen world.

As a young person taken a theology course in college, I remember being struck by the discourse on Jesus healing the blind man. Jesus prayed for the blind man and he put mud in the blind man's eyes. The mud was thought at the time to have medicinal healing properties. Did Jesus need the mud to heal the blind man's eyes? No. He was the creator of Heaven and Earth and Healer of all who come to Him. But, with Compassion, Jesus came to the blind man and helped the man's faith along. I think this is a beautiful story. Then he prayed several times until the man's sight was completely restored. Here is a God - who is completely God, who is our Savior, who is same yesterday, today, and forever, but who went outside of our expectations to grant us healing. May I have a simple faith in my Savior that simply trusts in His total forgiveness and healing, without questioning the hows and whys.

It's Official

It's official. I am feeling sick and I am feeling tired, and more than just transiently. I hope it doesn't last all the way until week thirteen.

I am also feeling full of grief/bothered over the church and over believers I know or have know that are going more and more the direction of no solid foundation. Have you heard of the "Emergent Church" - that, but not just that is bothering me, but just a lack of scripture guiding Christian's behavior. You expect that from non-believers, but not so much from believers. In some cases I'd rather wish I never set foot on facebook - I get to know more about a person, than maybe I wanted to know.

And my daughter, who is very tactile, has been having troubles stealing food. Stealing is stealing and it's not right. And, I have to get through to her. And I'm feeling very short-tempered in my efforts to do so. Which goes back to feeling sick. I think I need a nap.