Saturday, July 4, 2009


Changes In Friendships

I am a person that does fine with crowds like big churches or say large events where there isn't much interaction, but doesn't do well when there are many people (say more than ten) and there is interaction. I get flustered or just awkward. And, I am never myself. I see this in Natalie too. I also am noticing that although I want to have "lots of friends" (be popular) - I am more comfortable with a closer circle of friends. And, I am trying to take those friendships more where they come and not beat myself up for not having many friends (or really wanting that many). Yet, even so, it is hard for me either when people (new friends) move away or when it just starts to feel awkward. It hurts a little, I guess. It's not something I like anyhow and I have a hard time feeling excited for the person, even if it is an exciting thing. It looks like one new friend - not a close friend, but a friend nonetheless, is moving away. I feel.

Being Too Busy

Well, something I do, in general in life, is I get too busy. This could be for many reasons. 1) Well, for one, I really have a wide variety of interests and find myself wanting to learn (almost) everything. 2) Secondly, I tend to feel guilty. So that could make me want to give my kids the world. Or, that could make it hard to say no to co-op or a volunteer activity. 3) Thirdly, I want to please others. So, if they are excited about an activity, I want to do that activity. Also, now I think this is crazy, but I do it all the time...I want to protect everyone - I don't want them to be mad at me or my family. So, for instance, my VERY ENTHUSIASTIC husband...maybe he talks some people into things that later they wished they wouldn't have wanted to do. I feel a need to explain, or apologize, or provide for those people, instead of just let things settle between them and my husband. 4) Fourth, despite the previous three things and their tendency to get me quite busy, I actually have a low tolerance for being busy.

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